Sufferer's Notebook
by HidingInCorner
Summary: It's like a written notebook for those who suffer, only that it won't help you survive, because in the end, it's just a story. [Spain And Its Civil War] Oneshot


March 28th 1939 Prologue of The Second World War - Siege of Madrid

Spain sat quietly in a room, covering his head with his hands and listening how German airplanes, Junkers thundered above Madrid. They wouldn't bomb this town anymore when Nationalists were roaming in Madrid, still everyone braced for an end, be it by the hands of Nationalists or by Junkers' bombs. The streets were filled with chaos, shouts and guns were loud enough to hear through walls and Spain was sure that he would be soon insane. It has been three years since this had begun, Nationalists and Condor Legion seemed to be merciless and Republicans were exhausted to even attempt to fight against them, fighting wouldn't help them when they had already lost the war. Spain gave a quick glance to a newspaper that was in front of him, it held year 1936 in its fading ink and the rest of the dates were drowned under dry blood that decorated the whole newspaper. Spain didn't know whose blood it was, but it was obvious that the owner was long gone and he felt guilty to even look at it. He hoped it to disappear or at least it could tell what was happening nowadays, but the newspaper's headline was always stating election's result and a text under a dull looking photo praised the result in an impassive manner. When Spain heard about generals' uprising in 1936, he thought it to be caused by election's result and that it would be over soon without casualties, but after years of fighting against Nationalists, he understood that this had began dozens of years ago. He put his hand over the newspaper where the world had stopped, feeling the rough material of paper under his fingers and he gave a small desperate laugh.

''We'll help you, but... We don't really care about what's best for you, we care about what's best for us.'' Spain had asked and begged for help, but everyone said that sentence, hidden behind reassuring words and he was left alone to fight against an army that was supported by powerful nations.

''Thank you... You've helped me to lose this war!'' Spain almost shouted, he took a tight grip on the newspaper, throwing it to a wall and it tore down a painted landscape. Both of them fell onto the floor loudly and painting's frames snapped from an impact, but Spain wasn't one to care about it.

He knew that he shouldn't be this loud, when Nationalists were searching for Republicans, but this aboveground misery was enough for Spain. He leaned slightly on the table with his elbows and he drowned his head in his hands, trying to get the anger out of him, but he ended up deep in his thoughts and too deep in his past to get up from there.

July 19th 1936 France - Paris

France was a beautiful country and Spain would easily admit it, but France was in a political leash of England and he only moved when England order him to move. Spain saw this, when he gave a quick visit to France. He had intended to ask him to help him to defeat rebels in Spain, but disappointment found him soon, albeit after a month. When he had visited France, he found him to be calm like nothing bad wasn't happening around him and he was trying to reassure Spain with meaningless words.

''Calm down! Is situation in Spain that bad?'' Spain understood what France was implying, he was impatient, tired and his thoughts were always somewhere else.

''It's this feeling... Like everything is tearing apart. I need help and you understand why I'm in a hurry, don't you?'' Spain said, almost muttered and he waited for France's answer, but after a long silence, he asked a question that was clearly meant for France and not for a silence.

''Haven't you had rebellions in your past? I need your help... France?'' France gave a small hum, giving a sign that he was listening Spain, but he tried to think at the same time.

''Of course... But I haven't had a civil war, even though it might resemble a revolution in some points...'' France said, firmly looking at Spain whose eyes were wandering around a room and he continued after a moment. ''Nonetheless, I want to help my friend out of his misery... Let there be knives raining from the sky, but I would still help you.''

Spain's eyes halted immediately on that spot and he almost went onto the floor on his knees, but he only decided to give a bright smile and stayed in his seat. After a long, hopeful discussion with France, Spain thanked him dozens of times and left France's house, smiling like a there's nothing to worry about.

On 8th of August, weapons and overall help vanished to nothingness and Spain only had a small letter from France who stated in letter that according to England, Germany might get provoked by his help to Spain. He only stared at a last word in the letter, it was supposed to be apologetic, but it only looked like hastily written and meaningless to the writer. 'According to England'? Spain wanted immediately to burn the letter and shout to the world what cowards had wars made those nations to be. It was a distant rumour, distant but still there - A rumour that said England to be regretting The Treaty of Versailles' harsh terms on Germany and he justified Germany's insurgent acts on the treaty. Spain wanted to agree on this, but he silenced his thoughts and his mouth, knowing that Europe's atmosphere was still tense after The Great War and words would fuel the flame. Spain's job was only to look at a final rehearsal and give a small, encouraging applaud to the winning nations.

September 1936

Spain received good news from Soviet Union - He would help Republicans. Spain was sceptic, how could Soviet Union help him, when Germany and Italy had already assisted Nationalists and what made it worse, was Soviet Union selling old weapons in high price, but somewhere among them were modern weapons. Those modern ones made Spain's situation to go out of hands and soon Nationalists were also armed even better than before. Soviet Union tried to be calm as possible, because he was afraid of losing his face in front of European communist parties and like many others, he didn't want to see Germans marching towards their capital, so he didn't do much for Spain. Weapons were enough to fight a small war, but the price was Spain's fate under a gun.

March 27th 1937 England - London

Another meeting that was pointless and full of headless talk. There were Spain, England, France, Soviet Union, Germany, North Italy and South Italy, all of them had just talked what was happening in Spain, but no one didn't even blink an eye to the situation or tried to solve it.

''Lost cause...'' England said silently, turning his head away and not wanting to discuss anymore.

This Noninteference commission was becoming one of the history's weakest joke, but everyone used it frequently to denigrate others, even though it was meant to make Spain's situation easier to solve. Everyone in that meeting knew that Germany and North Italy had already broken their own promises and it was really a miracle to see them to stay there to talk with others even though they were acting cold towards everyone. It gave Spain a chance to ask an important question from South Italy who was walking away.

''Lovino!'' Spain shouted a name that sounded weird in a silent hall, but at least South Italy stopped and turned to face Spain.

''What?'' He gave a simple answer, waiting for a carefree chat, but he was almost startled by Spain's question.

''Are Italian troops in Spain?'' It was like a direct hit on South Italy's face, making him question his morals and he was silent for a moment before he answered.

''No... It's a civil war, there can't be foreign troops in Spain...''

''Lovino...'' Spain saw how South Italy broke under his stressed and exhausted look.

He sighed silently and tried to be more friendly, forming his question differently. ''German airplanes have been in the skies like clouds and I've heard rumours about Italian troops... Are your troops involved in this?'

' South Italy gave few glances towards the room where Germany and North Italy were and he swiftly dragged Spain further away from the room, when he still heard them speaking to each other.

He had a tight grip on Spain's sleeve, looking at the clean floor and he tried to say something to Spain. ''I shouldn't tell this, but we've been supporting Nationalists financially, giving weapons and...'' He said silently, but stopped in a middle of a sentence.

''It was quite obvious from the beginning.'' Spain stated and South Italy had to hid his surprise, forcing his words out of his mouth.

''And Italian troops are in Spain...'' Spain was speechless, of course truth would hurt him, how could he not understand it.

''What?'' It was the only word he could now utter out and he wanted South Italy to leave him there, but he got more and more.

''They're just trying to receive glory from there, Germany uses your civil war as a distraction for Europe... Everyone uses you for their best!'' South Italy said more silently and faster than before, but Spain saw only his hope getting crushed.

''Who are 'everyone'?'' Spain whispered to no one, looking at a wall and South Italy answered.

''I heard that England gave a permission to Nationalists to use their telephone connections and the United States, America sells them oil, trucks and he even gave them loans... Can't you see? You've lost this before it even started...'' South Italy's words hamstrung Spain, making him realise that he couldn't walk or run to victory, he would suffer inevitable defeat.

''Brother?'' A distant voice came out of the end of the hall and Spain left hastily, forcing his sleeve to be freed, but he swiftly gave a small pat on South Italy's shoulder as a thank you and he muttered himself.

''Of course...'' He now knew more than enough to figure out the future.

March 28th 1939 Siege of Madrid ends - Madrid surrenders

Spain woke up from his thoughts, when he heard shouts and racket coming from the downstairs. Spain stood up as a reflex and just stood there, trying to identify the noise that was now more quiet. There were a few others in this house that had been lucky enough to survive bombs' wrath, but it seems that their and Spain's days were now limited. Spain ran to the stairs and down them when he heard a gunshot, but in the middle of the stairs he met a soldier who took a hold of him and threw him to a cold floor that waited him after the stairs. He stayed there, pain radiating everywhere in his body and he saw how a shouting man was thrown beside him.

''You are following a lunatic! Go ask him about giving mercy to women and children, he will...'' That man was shouting to the soldiers, but a quick kick and he was gasping for air, silenced at least for a moment.

''Shut up!'' Soldier who kicked the man, shouted at him and left to search the house.

Spain gave a weak glance at the man who spat venomously on the floor and he couldn't stop his mouth from speaking and asked. ''Do you believe in afterlife?''

Spain didn't get an answer when soldiers forced them out and ordered them to walk, but soon he heard the man to say a few pleas silently, mostly about his family.

''Walk! There's no time to speak.'' Another soldier shouted, silencing the man and everyone.

The streets were filled with Nationalists and they boasted how they had conquered Madrid, dragging Republicans out of houses.

''They definitely belong to the government, look at those clothes!'' One of the soldiers said to another one and soon there was a discussion about Republicans. One moment they were soldiers and after that, they were communists.

''Who cares what they're are? They will die, no matter what.'' At least now everyone knew what they would face.

A row of people that were facing guns and silent last words. ''Do not water the forthcoming crops with blood, give it clean water...''

Silence and peace would come to world after six years, but before it, humanity would show how cruel it truly was.

 **Notes**

I hope that Spain sounds at least angry, because I think Republicans weren't that happy about the situation they were in.

Hetalia and characters are made by Himaruya Hidekaz

[Still, I'm not a historian, nor do I know about their feelings at those times - Some facts might be wrong]

I own only the plot  
I don't mean to offend you, your country, beliefs, religion etc.  
You can tell me how I can improve and I try my best to change it.

[This oneshot is also on Deviantart]


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